Friday, April 8, 2011

Al-Anon Wannabe

I still have yet to make it to an al-anon meeting, but that hasn't decreased my desire to go...or lessened the fact that I think about it almost every day. My friend (who's a work-a-holic) that agreed to go with me has been crazy with work. As have I. However the fact that think about it on a fairly regular basis must mean something. I just need to bite the bullet and go.

I think about my dad often. I suppose that's normal. I try to only remember the good times but still the bad times are too close to the surface. Next month, he will have been gone for three years. It's crazy how fast time flies. I feel as though I have improved my life immensely and even though I have not done everything I want to do, I am working on it and I am happy. I hope to make him proud.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

With A Little Help From My Friends

Amazingly enough, I have been feeling good. Still tired, stressed, and crazy busy - but all in a good way. I know how shocking this must seem. I read back through some of my other posts and I am one depressing writer!

Good news: I found an al-anon buddy. I had dinner with a friend of mine last week who had to take her dad to court the other day. It was his second DUI. She is struggling with many of the same emotions I have had to deal with in the past and while I am not at all pleased this is happening to someone I care about, I am happy that I have found someone outside of my family who can relate and actually talks about how she's feeling. Granted, our situations our vastly different (isn't everyone's?) but the premise is still the same. Alcoholism is a disgusting disease and I will never understand how it can take the best of a person and turn them into shit.

My friend showed a poem to me that I imagine is quite popular but one that I had never come across before and I'd like to share that today. It's titled, 'I Am Your Disease'. I am not sure who wrote it but the author is dead-on.

I am looking forward to attending my first al-anon meeting in over seven years and we purposely picked one that's geared towards adult children. I just wish I could get my sisters to go with me but at this point, I'll settle for just getting myself there. For today at least, I can live with that.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Welcoming 2011

It is a new year...a new start for most. I just feel one year older and no less stupid. My guilt remains, festering like puss that won't stop oozing.